How to set up your guest list and address your wedding invitations
Determining the appropriate way to address your wedding invitation envelopes can be a tricky process. As a rule of thumb, the outer envelope of your wedding invitation should be more formal, with titles and full names, while the inner envelope is more informal, leaving out first names or titles and last names (if you’re very close to the guest). Find even more ways to address your wedding invitation envelopes below.
Married Couple – Same last name
| OUTER ENVELOPE | INNER ENVELOPE |
| Mr. John and Mrs. Samantha Holt Or Mr. and Mrs. John Holt |
Mr. and Mrs. Holt Or John and Samantha |
A Married Couple With Different Last Names
List the person you’re closest with first on the outer and inner envelopes. If you’re similarly acquainted with both, list them in alphabetical order.
| OUTER ENVELOPE | INNER ENVELOPE |
| Mr. John Holt and Mrs. Samantha Thuente | Mr. Holt and Mrs. Thuente
Or John and Samantha |
An Unmarried Couple Living Together
As with a married couple, both names should be included on the envelopes, but in this case, each name gets its own line.
| OUTER ENVELOPE | INNER ENVELOPE |
| Mr. Joseph Hirsch Ms. Rebecca Strecker |
Mr. Hirsch Ms. Strecker |
A Same-Sex Couple
Use the same rules you would for any other unmarried or married couple. If the couple is married, list the names on the same line.
| OUTER ENVELOPE | INNER ENVELOPE |
| Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell
Or Celine Elgin and Jacqueline Purcell |
Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell
Or Celine and Jacqueline |
A Married Woman Doctor or Two Married Doctors
| OUTER ENVELOPE | INNER ENVELOPE |
| Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood
Or Dr. Anne and Mr. Peter Underwood Or Doctors Anne and Peter Underwood (for 2 doctors) |
Dr. Barker and Mr. Underwood
Or The Doctors Underwood |
Those With Other Distinguished Titles
Apply the same rules you use for doctors for military personnel, judges, reverends and so on. If both titles don’t fit on one line, indent the second line.
| OUTER ENVELOPE | INNER ENVELOPE |
| The Honorable Jane Kelly and Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy | Judge Kelly and Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy |
| OUTER ENVELOPE | INNER ENVELOPE |
| Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell
Or Celine Elgin and Jacqueline Purcell |
Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell
Or Celine and Jacqueline |
Children and Families
Younger guests can be included on the inner envelope of their parents’ invitation by their name(s)—they should not be addressed on the outer envelope. For girls under 18, use “Miss.” Boys don’t need a title until they’re 18—then they’re addressed as “Mr.”
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham
Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany and Miss Kelly
Children 18 and Older
They should receive their own invitations (unless they’re living at home with their parents).
On the outer envelope:
Ms. Audrey Abraham
Or
Mr. Jack Abraham
On the inner envelope:
Ms. Abraham
Or
Mr. Abraham
Note: If you don’t include each child’s name, you’re implying that children are not invited. That said, don’t be surprised if some guests still mistakenly assume their children are welcome. If you’re concerned this will happen with your guests, ask your immediate family and bridal party to help spread the word that the wedding will be adults only and add the message to your wedding website. In the end, you may have to follow up with guests who don’t get the message via phone to gently explain the situation.
